You finally made the appointment. You drove them there. You sat in the waiting room for 50 minutes, probably doing emails or staring at your phone, trying not to think too hard about what was happening on the other side of the door.
And then you drove them home. And they were fine.
You did this for weeks. Maybe a couple of months. And somewhere in there, things started getting harder, not easier. The meltdowns picked back up. The back talk escalated. They are more sensitive than usual, crying over things that would not have bothered them a few months ago. Bedtime is a disaster again. You are starting to wonder if therapy is actually helping or if it is somehow making things worse.
You are not the only parent who has sat with this question. And you are not wrong that something is happening. You are just, most likely, misreading what it means.
Is my child's behavior getting worse because of therapy?
Here is the honest answer: sometimes yes, in the short term, and it is usually a sign the work is doing something.
Play therapy creates a space where children are allowed to feel things they have been managing or suppressing. In the therapy room, they get to express what is actually going on inside without the usual consequences, redirections, or expectations that come with everyday life. For a lot of kids, especially kids who have been holding it together at school or keeping their feelings internal, that release starts to spill over.
What you see at home is not the therapy breaking your child down. It is your child starting to let something out that has been in there for a while.
Think about it this way. If you had been holding your breath for months and someone finally told you it was okay to exhale, the exhale would not be quiet or controlled. It would be a lot. That is what you are often watching when a child's behavior escalates in the early weeks of play therapy.
Why does my child act out more after therapy sessions?
This is one of the most common things parents describe, and it has a pretty straightforward explanation.
The hour in the therapy room is an hour of emotional work. Even when it looks like play, and it does look like play, the child is processing things that are real and often heavy. By the time they get in the car with you, they are often emotionally spent in the way you might be after a hard workout or a difficult conversation.
Kids do not have the same capacity as adults to regulate after emotional exertion. They have not developed the internal resources to hold it together through the drive home and dinner and homework and bedtime. What you are seeing when they fall apart in the afternoon after a session is usually the aftermath of that work, not evidence that the session went badly.
Some things that tend to help in that window after sessions: low demands, familiar comfort, not asking a lot of questions about what happened in the room. Let them have a snack, watch something they like, decompress without pressure. The less you ask them to perform or explain in those first couple of hours, the better.
How long does the difficult phase in play therapy last?
There is no universal timeline, and I want to be honest about that rather than give you a number that sets up a false expectation.
For some kids, it is a few weeks. For others it runs longer. It depends on what the child is working through, how much they have been containing before therapy started, how the rest of the environment is responding, and how the therapeutic relationship is developing.
What I can tell you is that this phase is usually not permanent. When a child has had enough space to express what they have been holding, and when the therapeutic relationship feels safe enough for them to actually process rather than just release, things tend to settle. The intensity comes down. The emotional range that felt chaotic starts to look more like flexibility.
The kids who are still melting down at month eight in the same way they were melting down at week two are the exception, not the rule. And in those cases, it is worth a direct conversation with the therapist about what is happening and what adjustments might be needed.
What does it look like when play therapy is actually working?
This is the question parents rarely get a clear answer to, and it is a fair one to ask.
Progress in play therapy does not usually look like a dramatic turnaround. It tends to look incremental and sometimes hard to see when you are living inside it. A few things to watch for over time.
Your child starts to recover faster after meltdowns. They still have them. But the duration starts to shrink. Where a meltdown used to last 45 minutes and blow up the whole evening, it now lasts 15, and they come back to baseline. That faster recovery is a real sign of regulation improving.
They start to put words to things. Not always. Not in every conversation. But you start to hear them say things like I felt really mad when or I did not like it when in situations where before they would have just acted out. The language is coming from somewhere. Therapy is usually part of that somewhere.
They ask to go. This one is small but significant. A child who is getting something out of the sessions usually stops resisting going. They might not be able to articulate why. But they stop dragging their feet.
Something shifts in the specific area you brought them in for. The school refusal gets a little more manageable. The sleep issues start to ease. The aggression with siblings becomes less constant. Not gone. More manageable.
These changes do not always happen on the timeline you want. But they tend to happen when the work is happening.
Should I tell my child's therapist that behavior has gotten worse at home?
Yes. Please do.
I want to know this. It is useful clinical information, and it helps me understand what is coming up in sessions and how the work is landing at home. A lot of parents hesitate to say something because they do not want to seem like they are complaining or questioning the process. You are not questioning anything by sharing what you are observing. You are doing exactly what a parent who is paying attention should do.
If you are seeing specific behaviors at home that feel connected to what your child is working on, say so. If there has been a change at home, a new stressor, a family event, a shift at school, say so. If your child has said something in the car on the way home from a session that felt significant, pass it along. You are not in the therapy room. But you are in the rest of their life, and that information matters.
The more connected we can be as a parent and therapist, the better the work tends to go.
What if I am not sure the therapist is a good fit for my child?
This is a completely valid thing to question and worth separating from the behavior escalation question, because they are different concerns.
Behavior getting worse in the short term is often a sign the work is happening. A therapist who is not a good fit usually looks different. Your child refuses to engage, not just on hard days but consistently. They express real distress specifically about going that is different from ordinary reluctance. Nothing changes over time, not even small things, after several months of consistent attendance.
If you are noticing any of those things, bring it directly to the therapist. A good therapist will not be defensive. They will want to understand what you are seeing and figure out whether something needs to shift in the approach, the structure, or whether a different fit might serve your child better.
The goal of therapy is not for your child to have a relationship with a particular therapist. It is for your child to actually get somewhere. Those are not always the same thing.
When should I actually be worried?
Most of the behavioral escalation parents describe in the early months of play therapy falls into the normal and expected category. But there are signs worth paying attention to.
If your child is talking about hurting themselves or others, tell the therapist immediately and do not wait for the next scheduled session. If the behavior at home has become unsafe, physically dangerous to themselves or siblings, that is something to address directly and urgently. If your child is showing signs of significant distress, not just hard feelings but genuine terror or dissociation or a level of shutdown that feels alarming, say something.
These things are not reasons to stop therapy. They are reasons to be in direct contact with the therapist right away so the approach can respond to what is happening.
And please reach out to me directly if something in your child's behavior has you genuinely concerned. That is what I am here for. A five-minute phone call is always better than waiting until the next session to share something that feels urgent.
How do I talk to my child about what happens in therapy?
Most parents do not know what to say in the car on the way home, and the instinct to ask a lot of questions is understandable. You have been sitting in the waiting room for an hour. You want to know if it helped.
The most useful thing you can do is keep it low-key. Something like that sounded like a good session, or I hope that was okay in there is usually enough. You do not need to debrief them. You do not need to ask what they talked about or what they played with or whether they like their therapist.
If they want to share something, let them. Follow their lead. But resist the pull to make them perform their experience for you, even out of love and curiosity. What happens in the room is theirs, and the more pressure they feel to explain it, the less safe the room starts to feel.
What helps at home between sessions?
Therapy is one hour a week. The other 167 hours are yours.
This does not mean you are responsible for doing the therapeutic work at home. You are not a therapist, and you should not try to be. But the environment around a child in therapy matters enormously.
A few things that consistently help. Predictable routines. Kids who are doing emotional work in therapy do better when the rest of their life is as stable and consistent as possible. Flexibility on the hard days. If your child comes home from a session and falls apart over something small, this is probably not the day to enforce every house rule. Pick your battles. Name feelings without trying to fix them. You do not have to solve it. You just have to show them you can be present with it.
And take care of yourself. A child whose parent is regulated is a child with a better chance of learning regulation. If you are running on empty, that is worth addressing too. A lot of the parents I work with are carrying their own things while trying to hold their child's things at the same time. That is its own kind of weight.
If something in this post felt relevant to what you are going through with your child, reaching out is worth doing. The first conversation is just a conversation. You do not have to have it figured out before you get in touch.
Schedule a Parent Consultation
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is my child more emotional after therapy sessions?
Therapy is emotionally demanding work, even when it looks like play. Kids often leave sessions feeling spent, and the feelings that came up during the session continue to process afterward. Low demands and quiet time in the hours after a session tend to help significantly.
How do I know if play therapy is working?
Look for smaller signs over time: faster recovery after meltdowns, more emotional language, willingness to attend sessions, and gradual improvement in the specific area that brought you in. Progress in play therapy tends to be incremental rather than dramatic.
Should I ask my child what happens in therapy?
It is better to follow their lead. Let them share if they want to. Avoid debriefing them or asking a lot of questions after sessions, as it can make the therapy room feel less private and safe.
How long does the difficult phase in play therapy last?
There is no fixed timeline. For many children, it eases within a few weeks to a couple of months as they begin to process rather than just release. If the escalation continues at the same intensity after several months, it is worth a direct conversation with the therapist.
When should I be concerned about my child's behavior in therapy?
If your child talks about hurting themselves or others, if behavior becomes physically unsafe, or if they show signs of genuine distress beyond ordinary emotional difficulty, contact the therapist directly and do not wait until the next session.
Where can I find a play therapist in Summit County, Colorado?
Nurturing Wellness Therapy in Breckenridge offers play therapy for children and adolescents from a family systems perspective. Laura Landrum, LCSW, works with families across Summit County, including Frisco, Silverthorne, and Dillon. Reach out to schedule a parent consultation.
Crisis Resources
If you are in crisis or need immediate support, please reach out.
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988
Colorado Crisis Services: Call 1-844-493-8255 or text TALK to 38255
Paragon Behavioral Health Connections: Call (303) 691-6095 or email contact@paragonbhc.org — paragonbhc.org
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
About the Author
Laura Landrum, LCSW, LAC is a certified EMDR therapist and licensed clinical social worker based in Summit County, Colorado. Before becoming a therapist, she spent years as a backcountry guide, which is a longer story than it sounds. She works with adults, adolescents, and children in Breckenridge and throughout Colorado via telehealth. She is direct; she does not flinch at hard things, and there is nothing you can bring into the room that is going to send her running.
